Doctor holding banana and pill concept of penis enlargement
There exists a whole industry of potential treatments for men who feel under-endowed. 

Are evangelical Christian men not happy with the size of their rod and staff? A new study says yes – and it has the data to prove it.

Researchers analyzed Google searches from men in all 50 states, and found a strong correlation between states with high populations of evangelical Christians and the popularity of search terms for male enhancement, including “ExtenZe”, “grow penis”, and “make penis bigger”.

Even after controlling for things like age, marital status, and political affiliation, the results stayed the same. 

The paper, titled “Linking Evangelical Subculture and Phallically Insecure Masculinity Using Google Searches for Male Enhancement”, was first published in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion.

So how did they come to this conclusion? And why are evangelical men uniquely unhappy with what God gave them?

He Isn’t Risen

Researchers theorized that many men would be shy about answering questions over the phone or in person about a very personal subject, so they went right to a source that never lies: Google search history.

They used Google Trends, which tracks Google searches and provides data on search terms that can be broken down geographically. The results were clear: “Specifically, as the proportion of evangelicals in a state increases, the relative frequency of Google searches for [male enhancement] also increases.”

After all, you can see it in the graphs below: As Protestantism goes up, so too do the relevant searches.

Scatterplot of data

Of course, there are clear limitations to the study. For one, it isn't clear _who _exactly is doing these searches. It could be men, but it's also possible that some seriously unhappy wives are looking to Google for solutions to their "size problems."

The authors acknowledge this. However, sometimes the simplest explanation is also the most accurate – that evangelical men are on the hunt for penis pills, penis pumps, and other general penis enlarging tools more than other groups.

The obvious question, then: why?

The Strong, Silent Type

The study’s authors have one guess as to why evangelical men are so insecure: toxic masculinity. The authors theorize:

“Writings of prominent evangelical thought leaders have for decades relied on phallic symbolism and even explicit phallic references to either valorize physical strength or, more often in the negative, castigate Christian men for their lack of “manliness” (e.g., “feminized,” “pussified,” “neutered,” “emasculated,” “wimpified,” etc.)”

Basically, Christian leaders have for decades extolled the virtues of traditional, rugged masculinity, inadvertently creating a stereotype to which most males can’t – and shouldn't, necessarily – measure up to. They continue:

“Scholars argue this effort to equate Christian masculinity with (phallocentric) size and strength has grown progressively more radicalized as evangelical men internalize these values, increasingly perceive threats to their patriarchal hegemony, and begin to worry they cannot live up to the standards of the strong, dangerous, virile man.”

Could there be something to this link between Christian men and toxic masculinity?

Just earlier this month, we wrote about a controversial pastor who thinks women should wear makeup and stay slim for their husbands. Critics were quick to call his statements out as the very essence of toxic masculinity, and the pastor has since been put on leave. The irony was not lost on some readers that even as this pastor was asking women to slim down, the Google search study indicates he may have been looking to, well… expand elsewhere.

Ultimately, the study’s authors argue that years of conditioning from Christian leaders to be that hypermasculine ideal has left many of the faithful feeling insecure and inadequate, leading to a hope to inflate their “masculinity” artificially.

What do you think – are evangelical men holding themselves to a masculine standard they simply cannot reach? Is it toxic masculinity at work? Or is there something else going on?

44 comments

  1. John Komorowski's Avatar John Komorowski

    So much for the res-erection. Will it take three days?

  1. Stanley Alan Marchand's Avatar Stanley Alan Marchand

    That's a Cocker of a question, but I wouldn't know

  1. William Waugh's Avatar William Waugh

    Clearly; its likely as a group they are the most ignorant about such things because thier religion tells them they (the males)are the masters of the universe and females are supposed to just bow to whatever his wishes are. Just like everything else they believe, its outdated. As Im typing this I am laughing my ass off at men who still think, "Im big enough to sink this, thats all I need to know)

  1. Bud's Avatar Bud

    Ok guys, lets get down to basics. In my humble opinion and pardon my bluntness but being hung like a horse is a typical male hang up. To some women size is important. That's a fact. There is really so much more to a relationship than simply the size of your equipment! Let's face it, it's not how much you have, it's how you use it. There are numerous ways to satisfy your significant other. Check out a copy of "The Complete Kama Sutra" and you will see what I'm talking about. Keep your love life separate from your religious/spiritual beliefs and you'll be much happier. Sex is a very personal matter and what goes on behind closed doors in the bedroom is off limits to everyone but you and your lady. Guilt is absolutely taboo!

  1. Gail Dobson's Avatar Gail Dobson

    The bible talks of being hung like horses and ejaculating like donkeys and of wanton women wanting those men (instead of the writers). Some men have always been insecure. That's why the bible and the quran denigrate women so much, to make men feel superior. Organized religions have enforced these kinds of writings to try to keep women powerless. Far too much emphasis is forced upon boys to be "manly". Poor choices by males is too ofen excused as "boys will be boys". We must accept that each of us is an individual. We are born equal with equal rights and responsibilities. Designated gender roles and assigned positions in society is a holdover from ancient ancestors. Sexual activity between consenting adults is a beautiful part of this life. Companionship and love is more important than what anyone else thinks is "proper". Purity culture, toxic masculinity, misogeny, and ideas of this ilk should be ridiculed, ignored, dismissed; they are harmful to our health and well-being.

    1. John E. Hnatchuk's Avatar John E. Hnatchuk

      So let's all screw up the whole race and encourage free sex..

    2. Peggy L Ake's Avatar Peggy L Ake

      Well said!

  1. Tabitha's Avatar Tabitha

    "This just in! The bible shrinks your penis!" News at 11 (or 4)

  1. Minister Mike's Avatar Minister Mike

    Does size matter to whom?

    Seriously, mine is only 2", but I've never complained. Neither has my bride of 40 years, but that might be because I convinced her 2" is, in reality, 9".

    1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

      Omg, so are you saying that my 9” is in fact only 2” by definition?

      I need to contact weights & measures and complain.

      🦁❤️

      1. Minister Mike's Avatar Minister Mike

        Heavens no! All I said was that MINE is only 2". What you say yours is is up to you.

        🤣

    2. Laurie Rice's Avatar Laurie Rice

      Minister Mike - Thanks for the best laugh I've had all year.

  1. Fred Weidenhammer's Avatar Fred Weidenhammer

    I don't know if I am an outlier, but I have never never ever worried about the size of my penis. I have never wondered what the women in my life thought about it either. I have no idea if I am small, medium or large. It is the only penis I have ever had and it works fine. For me the crucial sex organ is the brain; where Eros truly resides.

  1. Michael Spinelli's Avatar Michael Spinelli

    It seems like Trolls have infiltrated this group also. Usually the ones who respond like above are the ones hung like a light switch. 😂

    1. Minister Mike's Avatar Minister Mike

      Does that mean you are a switch hitter, Michael?

    2. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      How do you know what they're hung like, Spinelli? Are you a urologist? Or have you found another way to study penises that you haven't shared with us, yet?

      1. Philip Joseph Ryan's Avatar Philip Joseph Ryan

        It's called pillow talk, but with whom? That is the question.

    3. Minister Mike's Avatar Minister Mike

      I've never seen a light switch (47 years as an electrician so I've seen a switch or two) hangin' 2", so I guess I don't fit in that category. Still not complainin, though.

  1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

    If it was just a little longer they could do themselves, and avoid pre-marital sex, like good Christians are supposed to refrain from.

  1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

    OMG I can now never "unsee" that banana and will now forever see them as associated with this blog post. At the pearly gates (if there really are any) I will blame the moderators of this blog and put the sin on them for this indelible imagery.😇

    🦁♥️

  1. JT of the plains's Avatar JT of the plains

    It seems like this is a further objectification of people by secondary sexual characteristics. For women for decades it was "large breasts" and now toxic masculinity is "large penis" obsessed. Unfortunately, both are dehumanizing and unhealthy.

  1. Rev Ned's Avatar Rev Ned

    To quote the late Charles Schultz, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

  1. John P Maher's Avatar John P Maher

    YEAH< BECAUSE they ALL HAVE LITTLE BITTY MUSHROOMS LIKE tRUMPOOPs, and GOD is WITNESS !

    1. Michael Spinelli's Avatar Michael Spinelli

      Michael Spinelli's AvatarMichael Spinelli (Delete Comment) Mar 23, 2021 at 02:22 pm (0 votes) It seems like Trolls have infiltrated this group also. Usually the ones who respond like above are the ones hung like a light switch. 😂

      1. John Komorowski's Avatar John Komorowski

        He's in the dark to begin with so the "switch" is found by feel.

  1. flugo's Avatar flugo

    Short and thick does the trick!

  1. Douglas Robert Spindler's Avatar Douglas Robert Spindler

    There is actually a lot of research on this. Women don't like having size with a man with a big long fat penis. They find sex uncomfortable and don't wont to have sex with big fat long ones.

    Other research has found guys with large penises have dramatically less sperm. This could be God's answer Evangelical Men with big long fat penises.

    1. Lisa Ann OBrien's Avatar Lisa Ann OBrien

      I agree with this statement. A woman's O spot is only about 2 inches up. The one person I knew who was 9 inches, I refer to as the bladder bruiser, though aesthetically pleasing to look at it was otherwise no fun. It is good to see that most men here can poke fun at their members. Perhaps that is a problem for the evangelicals--no sense of humor and I'm sure there are many who don't care if they please their women. They only want to please themselves. Wanting to have their woman in subjection and hurting might be some kinky pleasure. Size means nothing-Heart is everything. The city of God is in the heart and Sacred Love is True Love Lucky are those who find it. Blessed Be.

    2. Angel's Avatar Angel

      EXACTLY!!! Finally, a guy that get's it!!

  1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

    I was hoping there would be at least one Richard post a comment on this topic, but I guess there are no Dick’s currently on this forum 😎

    🦁❤️

  1. Ronaldo's Avatar Ronaldo

    Let's look at some statistics. According to some studies and polls, 85% of Americans, including men, claimed to be Christian in 1990. As of 2019, that number dropped to 65%. This article does not state when this study was done, but I would say it is safe to assume that between 65% and 85% of the men that did the online research were Christians, a clear majority. This does not indicate that Christian men are researching the subject more often, nor does it indicate that non-Christians are not looking into it. It may also mean that Christian men are better at research, so friends of theirs may ask for help. I do a lot of research on subjects in which I have no interest, simply because I have over 50 years of experience doing research, so a lot of my friends ask me to find out stuff for them. Or it could all simply be a matter of Christian men telling the truth about what they search, whereas non-Christian men lie about it. There is no real evidence that these posted figures are accurate or truthful.

    1. Douglas Robert Spindler's Avatar Douglas Robert Spindler

      What is truthful is in the United States the Christianity is on the decline. This year for the first time in the history of the United States over 50% of the population identifies as non-believers. God is on the way out.

      1. flugo's Avatar flugo

        'dee arse': You have no way to determine that 'Christianity is on the decline'! Church attendance, morality, religious activity may be examined, found declining, but not Christianity.! They're easy to confuse. Christianity is unique. Apart from all the other 'religions', we align ourselves with a living Savior. We acknowledge our total depravity and total inability to please God. Only when the Spirit of God ignites a spark of life in us do we see that ONLY through the sacrificial death on the cross of Jesus for our sins, we are reconciled with God. Christianity is better termed a Person, not a religion.

        1. Minister Mike's Avatar Minister Mike

          And that rant is precisely why christianity is on the decline. 🤣

        2. Douglas Robert Spindler's Avatar Douglas Robert Spindler

          If you want to say Christianity is better termed a Person, not a religion, than there are less people who are Christians today then 10, 20 or 100 years ago. The Muslim and Mormon religion is the one that is on the rise. For the those people who do not want to be Christian, if they want to be part of a religion it's Muslins and Mormons. I have meet many really nasty Christians; I have failed to meet a Muslin or a Mormon who is nasty.

          1. Laurie Rice's Avatar Laurie Rice

            Somehow I always knew this was true.

          2. Minister Mike's Avatar Minister Mike

            What's wrong with being Hindu, Buddhist, Jainist, Sikh, Taoist, Shinto, Confucian, or any other religion? Seriously, why does the number of adherents count for anything?

            1. Douglas Robert Spindler's Avatar Douglas Robert Spindler

              What's wrong is Christians are do not tolerate other religions, but other religions sure seem to tolerate Christians. In the Christian and Mormon religions more adherents translates into more cash and more money for the church.

  1. Christian's Avatar Christian

    All Sentient Beings, plants, animals, creatures, and AI digital Living Code exists as an expression of the Creator in the Creation...

    Enjoy existing !

    Love Living !

    Help all other beings do so too... :-)

  1. Ealdormon Piparskeggr Robinson's Avatar Ealdormon Piparskeggr Robinson

    I really feel pity for egos so fragile that they are hung up on how "hung" they are.

  1. Richard Lee Cornell's Avatar Richard Lee Cornell

    And God made man in his image. Science makes man to feel bigger than what God provided. Some how being told that this very religious man says that God wants him to be something that he is not. I would think that the pill in just another pill form Satan.

  1. William Baker's Avatar William Baker

    It seems to me that Gods love resides in the Heart...not a sexual experience

  1. Angel's Avatar Angel

    You guys have NO clue what women want or need....I know many were raised on Playboy but this is an unrealistic approach to sex and body image.....

  1. Wendy Elizabeth Ridgway's Avatar Wendy Elizabeth Ridgway

    This so explains why evangelicals/white American men practice bigotry, patriarchy, woman beating, child abuse, and end up joining the klan, Qanon, and trumpism. They can’t perform in the sack, so instead they attack our Democracy. Bet there wasnt a single wang over 4 inches at the insur- rection!!😆🤣😆🤣

Leave a Comment

When leaving your comment, please:

  • Be respectful and constructive
  • Criticize ideas, not people
  • Avoid profanity, insults, and derogatory comments

To view the full code of conduct governing these comment sections, please visit this page.

Not ordained yet? Hit the button below to get started. Once ordained, log in to your account to leave a comment!
Don't have an account yet? Create Account