A Missouri pastor who told women in his congregation to stay slim, wear makeup, and always be available for sex with their husbands, lest he cheat, is taking a leave of absence to seek counseling.
“Why is it that so many times after getting married, women let themselves go?” pondered Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark of First General Baptist Church in Malden, Missouri. “I really don’t think that women understand how important it is for a man to have a beautiful woman on his arm. It’s really important to a man to do that.”
“Now, look,” he continued. “I’m not saying every woman can be the epic trophy wife of all time, like Melania Trump. I’m not saying that at all. Most women can’t be trophy wives, but, y’know, maybe a participation trophy? … You don’t need to look like a butch!”
The discussion of women’s bodies, including the perceived necessity of them staying slim and pretty for their husbands went on for roughly 20 minutes.
Thou Shalt Be Hot AF
The February 21st sermon went viral, and on March 2nd, the church announced that Pastor Clark was taking a leave of absence to seek professional counseling. It was initially posted by Facebook user Reagan Williams, who stated that “instead of teaching men and boys to take accountability for their actions and control themselves, [Pastor Clark] degrades women, victim blames, and points the finger at their mere existence. He fails to use Bible verses to back up his nonsense.” She also called his declaration that women should dress in an appealing way to their husband and have zero bodily autonomy is “abusive and controlling”.
Another Facebook user grabbed some quotes from Pastor Clark before all trace of him was scrubbed from First General Baptist Church’s Facebook page earlier this week. While unverified, Facebook user Savannah Myers said that, in a 2019 Mother’s Day sermon, Pastor Clark bizarrely stated that “If I was a woman, I’d want to be HOT! I’d also want to be a natural blonde. Can I get an amen here?”, instructed girls to change their hair color to look more feminine, and seemingly lamented the wearing of skinny jeans on larger bodies.
From God's Lips to Her Ears
While not mainstream, this type of thinking - that it’s a woman’s duty to stay beautiful for her husband - is prevalent in some Christian circles, even with some women.
Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, is a blogger and social media personality who advocates against feminism and believes a woman’s role is in the household, submitting to her husband in all aspects. She has a video on her Youtube channel promoting the belief that women should have sex with their husbands, even when they don’t feel like it, likening it to a man going to work, even if he doesn’t feel like it. “The Bible commands us that we do not deprive our husbands of sexual intimacy,” she states. “This is from God, it’s not from me.”
On her website, she says that “my ministry is based upon Titus 2:3-5 in which God commands that older women teach younger women to be sober, love and obey their husbands, love their children, be chaste, discreet, good, and keepers at home.”
Pastor Clark likely agrees with these statements. At one point in his sermon, he quotes Corinthians 7:4: "The wife has no longer all rights over her body, but shares them with her husband,” then with a chuckle stated, “so whenever she's not in the mood, dig out your Bible.”
Toxic Patriarchy in Action
The comments from Pastor Clark ignited a mild firestorm in Christian circles, reported on at Christian Post, Relevant Magazine, and Religion News Service. And while his “leave of absence” may or may not be permanent, the harm from his comments just might be. During his sermon, he said he’s done marriage counseling in the past, even recalling intimacy advice he’s given to couples, that was, you guessed it, for the female partner to lose weight.
What he seemingly fails to understand is that each relationship has its own dynamics. Not every person is attracted to the same type of body. He’s completely dismissive of the woman’s point of view.
Numerous outlets called this sermon out as toxic patriarchy, the idea that a woman is to blame if her husband cheats or strays. It is an easy road to scapegoating women for every problem in the marriage. He also dismisses concerns about overweight husbands as non-issues, because women aren’t as “visual” as men.
What do you think?
95 comments
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Ealdormon Piparskeggr Robinson
Both my wife and I have become pretty well rounded in our 43 years relationship. For us, it is a fact of growing older. 26 June will make 39 years wed. I still think her the most beautiful woman in my life.
The above "Pastor," needs more than just counseling.
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Minister Mike
Regretfully, I must disagree. Counseling of the sort meted out by high school principals and my Father back in the day, would, most likely, do him a world of good.
Maybe, when you've been married to the same woman as long as I've been married to my bride (41 years), you'll gain some wisdom in dealing with unruly children. (that's a joke, son 🤣😜🤣😜😲 )
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
Congratulations to you and your wife, Ealdormon! My mother and stepfather have been married for forty five years, and my brother and his husband have been married for about 24. However, I'm still a bachelor at 58, so I think it's safe to assume I always will be.
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Ealdormon Piparskeggr Robinson
My brother in law is your age, still lives at home, taking care of his mom. Has had women as friends with benefits over the years, but never seemed to need a more permanent relationship.
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
However, I asked Elizabeth Garcia (the one from Galveston) to marry me 27 times in 15 years, and the last time she finally said she would, if I bought her a house. On my income though, it would have to be a shotgun house, and she'd have to imagine the rest.
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Minister Deidre
Wow, 43 years, that's wonderful! I pray you both have many more happy, healthy years together!
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Ealdormon Piparskeggr Robinson
Thank you, things were in doubt 70 months ago when I received a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. Fortunately, it was caught early, had successful surgery, which was followed by relatively mild chemo for 6 months.
No signs of active disease since the surgery in early June that year.
When Anita and I were discussing the possibility of needing Final Arrangements, she asked me what epitaph I wanted on my grave marker. "He fulfilled his wedding vows," was my answer.
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Minister Mike
Melania Trump is a trophy wife? 🤮
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Ilmenheru Terikson
I do not even want to know what the contest was.
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Joe Stutler
His glass house is a pile of shards....surrounded by his stones.
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PATRICIA S RITTER
This is the reason why i do not date men like that always want control of their wives i rather stay single
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Brien
Ok, let me catch up.... 1. I do not care about anything trump, biden, horse, elephant, ect. 2. As far as the pastor is concerned, someone needs to roll him back into the ocean before he dries out. Peace.
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Bud
As has been said by a few of my associate ministers, I think the fat pastor needs to objectively look at himself in a mirror. He is obviously fat and out of shape. His attitude is chauvinistic and thoughtless. If he had any concern he would also want to be a man that his wife could be proud to be seen within public and in front of his congregation. He is shortsighted at best.
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Stanley Alan Marchand
Comment removed by user.
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Stanley Alan Marchand
One last comment President Trump J Trump was the greatest President whoever lived and Melania Trump the greatest 1st lady but when I am not allowed to defend them on this blog with my opinion then I am done with the blog and ULC.
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Ilmenheru Terikson
And may all the demons of the nine hells haunt your dreams and consume the souls of all who are kin to you!
But on a serious note. Nope not one metric that exist rates Drumpf as anything but a 1 term 2 time impeached sedition inspiring LOSER!
As for the trophy wife/breeding sow, not anywhere within light years of Eleanor Roosevelt. She will always be the True First Lady by which all others are judged.
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arawngraalrd
Melania may have sold her body to come to America, but she's the Best First Lady since Jackie O. Eleanor never held a candle to Dolly Madison. Worst, of course, was Michael Obama.
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Ilmenheru Terikson
You know she tore out Jackie O's famous rose garden she personally planted right? The one that from which every year since he was assassinated roses had been taken to lay on his grave, right up until the Drumpf admin anyways.
FFS you ignorant hypocrites cant even grasp when they defile the memories and legacies of those leaders who claim to hold admiration for.
And that you so openly disrespect Mrs. Obama tells me all I ever need to know as to why your an invalid little trash troll.
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Joe Stutler
It's because she dared to wear an outfit with bare shoulders, isn't it? (It's certainly not because of the color of her skin - your Kleagle told you so.)
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Stanley Alan Marchand
Sounds like you have T.D.S. also, follow the scripture above not sure it will help but one never knows.
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Ilmenheru Terikson
Why would I follow the scriptures bud? I am shaman and mystic of Power beyond your ken, the very fabric of existence is my constant companion and most beloved am I in its perception.
To even believe in the book you claim to and then to espouse support for one damned for all times by the very rules of the book just speaks to true madness in your mind.
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John Norris Campbell
WOW...do ya'll shamans carry a light saber to fight the mystic dark powers of the universe? Does your 'fabric of existence' come in plaid?...or perhaps checkered? You crack me up! Thanks for the laugh!!
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Stanley Alan Marchand
Trump is KING!
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
Stanley, your king lost the election, which means he's a loser. And anyone who idolizes a loser is also a loser.
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Minister Mike
What's the thread count?
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SueW
Promise?
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
Bye bye, Stanley. We'll miss you
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
You can defend that fool, Stanley. And we can put you down, because of it. No problem, Stanley. You don't have to pout about it, little boy.
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Darcy Lamoureux-Crosby
So low and disrespectful! He’s no Prince Charming to look at and he disgusts me! Women are to be valued and cherished. Not punished due to someone’s false sense of perfection!
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robert
Well once ya have fat ya don’t go back!
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Stefano Di Stefano
Interessante Grazie ma non posso dare Giudizi sono In Italia e non in USA ma comprendo e imparare e comprendere serve
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CB Cuff
His opinion is of course total trash talk and should have been booed off the stage. It was interesting to watch him refer to his notes, in what appears to be his bible, using it as a prop, both literally and figuratively. That was a sleazy attempt to lead the audience into believing he was referencing his bible to support his trash talk. Counselling has apparently been 'recommended', but I think the starting point might be a psychiatric asement.
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CB Cuff
Sorry, that last bit should have read psychiatric "assessment".
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SueW
He has stepped down because of the blowback from his idiotic “sermon.”
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John P Maher
MELANIA tRUMP is an EX PROSTITUTE WHO MARRIED a PIMP EXxx PRESIDENT, THEY are BOTH GARBAGE CANs !
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Stanley Alan Marchand
John it sounds like you have T.D.S. in a big way. John you should pray let me help you "prayers that god hears" Ps145:18- 1Pe3:12- Isa1:15-17 Joh14:13,14 2Co1:20 1Jo15:14,15 Jas1:6-8 I hope this can be of some comfort for you.
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Joe Stutler
Yes, one would have to be suffering from some severe derangement or other mental illness - or be inherently evil - to support Trump.
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Stanley Alan Marchand
Sounds like T.D.S.
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Clay Serenbetz
Often in popular culture, there are images of grossly overweight men with relatively thin wives (e.g. the TV show "King of Queens"). I believe that this example implants in people's minds that its OK for the husband to let himself go, but the wife has to stay svelte. I can't imagine women subjugating themselves to a man this way, absent a medical issue or a guy with a lot of money. Does Melania really find the Donald sexually attractive? One tries not to have the image of it in one's consciousness. Also, in my experience, if one spouse is overweight, then both are overweight.
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arawngraalrd
Sexiest Bulge in a man's pants is The Wallet. Women's legs and men's wallets have very similar significance.
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John Norris Campbell
As usual scripture taken out of context to twist the meaning to fit an agenda that has nothing to do with Christ.IN CONTEXT: 1Corinthians 7:4 "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. AND LIKEWISE the husband does not have authority over HIS own body, BUT THE WIFE DOES>This passage is about MARRIAGE and the importance of remaining true to each other. This 'supposed' pastor is what is known as an apostate christian, and christian in name only.
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SueW
Would that be CRINO?
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JPrime
CINO 😆😆thank you! Consider this stolen!
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Stanley Alan Marchand
My apologies to ULC they did post my comment thank you ULC.
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SueW
You could still leave.
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Daniel Gray
Says who? As long as both are healthy and both love each other then what else should matter?
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JPrime
Potatoes like him should not be preaching about how someone should or should not look. NO ONE should. Period.
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Matthew Mastrogiovanni
There's a rise in misogyny, racism and hate crimes in America.
The vast majority of the perpetrators are who? Right ... right-wing Christians.
How much blasphemy and hypocrisy will the rest of Christianity tolerate, before they do something about it?
Or do we just need to label Republicans as a hate group?
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Rev Ned
IMHO, supporting 45 while professing to be a Christian is oxymoronic.
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Douglas Robert Spindler
Why shouldn't women stay slim for their husbands? If it were for their husband, I would agree, why? But when a women has multiple husbands she should remain slim.
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Douglas Robert Spindler
The pastor is saying women should remain trim for their husband, not their husband. What's wrong with that?
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
Maybe the pastor meant that women should stay trim for his husband.
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Alexander Clarke
Here comes the bride all fat and wide . . . . What about all the men who like large women? I wonder if the pastor has a wife and what she looks like.
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Stanley Alan Marchand
looks like ULC only posts comments they agree with so now i am done with ULC.
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Ilmenheru Terikson
So good riddance to you Stanley. This is a secular ministry website. hate speech and insular rhetoric will only fly under the radar so often.
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Stanley Alan Marchand
We're you referring to the post just above, where the greatest president in history is referred to as a pimp, and his wife a prostitute or is that acceptable hatred just wondering how you feel about it well is it ok Mr. Terikson
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
I never thought of that punk as a pimp, Stanley.
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
I don't want Melania, until it's free!
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Minister Mike
Considering the last US President a pimp and his wife a whore is not hate, Stanley. It simply revealing the facts.
Other than lie when he didn't get his way, lie when he got his way, incite a riot and sedition, what is he did that makes you so certain he as a great anything but a greedy, selfish child?
Don't let the door hit your rump on the way out (in other words, begone and be quick about it).
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SueW
You promise to actually go this time?
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Carl Bernard Elfstrom
We'll Stanley, you could become minister with another organization, but you'll probably have to go to school first.
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arawngraalrd
He's entitled to his opinion, but not his congregation. I expect he's issues to work out, reminiscent of Victoria Woodhull, who sermonized about biological issues, until she got treatment for that one. If a woman let's herself go, after the Honeymoon, she too has issues, if only that her husband doesn't understand the biological need for Hugging. Is he wrong for mentioning, or for not knowing the answer to his question?
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PATRICIA S RITTER
This is the reason why i do not date men like that always want control of their wives i rather stay single
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Woodrow
Isn't he Joe's nephew?
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Minister Mike
Joe Stalin? Probably. And halfwit cousin to the orange racoon.
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Rev Ned
IMHO, I thought 45 bore a strong resemblance to Il Duce, Mussolini.
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Darcy Lamoureux-Crosby
Totally disgusted with this so called man!! What a pig!!
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Kevin Joseph Kervick
Basically true on both counts even though the messengers and messaging is ugly.
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Paul J. Fumero
Just the reason why this "christianity" will be gone within 100 years or so... LOL he should look in the mirror ad see the fat pig he really is... inside and out...LOL
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Vicki Lynn Mallory
Of course all fat, ugly men like Stanley want something they can't have. Ladies, beauty and body sculpting have nothing to do with happiness. Teaching men how to be respectful, decent lovers has everything to do with a good marriage. Men that think they can just roll over, climb on, and make a lady happy are Idiots. If guys don't know how to turn on their ladies and make her say 'YES! ' then they should hit the shower with a bar of soap.
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Paul Carpenter
He obviously needs to do some self examination, living in a big fat glass house like that. It is important to stay healthy (not obese) for yourself and others. Society's pendulum has swung too far from fat shaming to embracing unhealthy lifestyles so that we don't hurt anyone's feelings. We have one body and the better we care for it, the longer it will last. The makeup and presentation thing is purely cultural. Elevating it to a Biblical command is extreme.
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Rev. Dr. Eve Taylor
I really liked that preaching, because I really needed a GODD-LAUGH! Ha-ha has Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark, broke his mirror, and is unable to see what he looks like, give me a break, what's good for the drake, is good for the ducks! BUT! @ I do not agree.com, with this Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark, and I am so happy he is getting help! "GOD" bless him, I hope when counseling is over, he comes with a more compassionate outlook of/to reality, and stop dictating to the world. I once was a model, did race-ways, Clairol, and more, but I got older, had cancer twice, and extra surgery, was, Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark trying to say, (I'm not married) but if i was that my husband should forget for better or worse, in sickness or health, until death do us part? Like my book just published "Hodgepodge of Life". Is exactly what we are living. Presently, life is hard, complicated, isolated, why is, Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark adding to the problem, rather preach a solution. We all are not a Melania Trump, and that is good, because variety is what makes life fantastic, be happy for who you are, and love the you. The more I write I realize this Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark, is made me mad; who the HELL, does he think he is to give an abusive advice, to be like someone else! No! Love yourself; we all try to keep ourselves, well. Sadly, in life things happen! Wow! Glad I was not sitting at that sermon, or well, let me end, I am glad he is in counseling! Look me up; that kind of rhetoric has no place in our society, but especially in church! lastly, let me end, by saying; we may need to give Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark, slack, perhaps his better half, said, something about how he looks. Then preached to get back, still revenge is wrong, either way, in my book, he fails to win at his narrow-minded views, opinion, and judgment! Eve Spirit- Amazon.com [Hodgepodge of Life:] Love, and Blessings. Love yourself, you’re the only one of a kind, and be proud of that!
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Rev. Dr. Eve Taylor
This is about Lori Alexander, comments, GROW-UP, get REAL, do what you want but stop placing us females under your condemnation. Who are you Saint devote pious robot.. get in touch with reality and a back bone, you too matter! if you don't feel like it, than great don't!! Stop placing bars in front person's who don't thank GOD think like you! Prison's without Walls that's your life, not mine!
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Rev. Dr. Eve Taylor
This is about Lori Alexander, comments, GROW-UP, get REAL, do what you want but stop placing us females under your condemnation. Who are you Saint devote pious robot.. get in touch with reality and a back bone, you too matter! if you don't feel like it, than great don't!! Stop placing bars in front person's who don't thank GOD think like you! Prison's without Walls that's your life, not mine!
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JT of the plains
This "pastor" is not preaching what the Bible says. For example, 1Timothy 2:9 reads, "also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God." and in 1Peter 3:3-4 "Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God's sight."
The former first-"lady" is hardly a role model for anything Christian.
Men and women are both created in God's image and deserve respect and honor. That too was sadly lacking in the former administration. In fact, I see very few fruit of the Holy Spirit in anything done by the former-president and his family. Holding them up as role models and examples is just idolatry.
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Minister Deidre
It's always the ones built like SpongeBob. But seriously, he is completely using the word out of context and only using part of it. Husbands are also supposed to submit their bodies to their wives and not refuse them unless it's mutually agreed upon as part of a fast. Also, not all men like thin women, or makeup. My fiance prefers me big and hates when I wear makeup.
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Christian
Every body is a temple to the very living spirit of the Creator, your mind, and soul. Try to do your best to take care of it, eventualy it will need returned to the Earth. Depending on your beliefs, you get a new body, resurrected or reincarnated... Do your best to take even better care of your new body too ! :-)
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Joanna Whitney
Many people these days have an opinion seemingly based in ego. It’s not a bad idea to try to put the needs of others needs ahead of your own. It is very easy to get self centered in these matters and to stop working on the relationship - just get stuck in a rut of "comfort" and "sloth". Sacrifice of the little “s” self is at the heart of spiritual growth- how to do that? Prayer... and attempting to keep intimacy in the marriage...perhaps the best thing to do would be to stick to principles and then allow the populace to interpret them for themselves - since God speaks to each of us individually.
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Alicia Marie Curley (Oneness Ministry)
So we understand what was said, along with the feedback his comments received. What if we asked ourselves, what may our intentions may be with story? It’s very clear his words were taken on as hurtful and rather degrading. I have noticed, change happens when history no longer repeats itself. With that said, how could he have voiced his message differently? What if his intentions were pure? So it has been told, evil is sneaky. Given this situation, what if his intentions were genuine? If his intentions were pure, that is a deep desire for spouses to stay in unity for the well-being of all Gods children, would we feel the same way? Or would we find ourselves inspired with compassion? That is, possibly an eagerness towards a solution for the way his intentions are delivered in the future? Ultimately, for the well-being of all in these trying times, protecting the foundation of unity within a Godly marriage? Evil isolates before it kills. As he is one of ours, what if evil has done exactly what it wanted? Clearly this man has a desire for spreading the word of God. Along with a passion towards keeping families together. What if, this is God calling on us to pick up our brother when he is down?
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Alicia Marie Curley (Oneness Ministry)
So we understand what was said, along with the feedback his comments received. What if we asked ourselves, what may our intentions may be with story? It’s very clear his words were taken on as hurtful and rather degrading. I have noticed, change happens when history no longer repeats itself. With that said, how could he have voiced his message differently? What if his intentions were pure? So it has been told, evil is sneaky. Given this situation, what if his intentions were genuine? If his intentions were pure, that is a deep desire for spouses to stay in unity for the well-being of all Gods children, would we feel the same way? Or would we find ourselves inspired with compassion? That is, possibly an eagerness towards a solution for the way his intentions are delivered in the future? Ultimately, for the well-being of all in these trying times, protecting the foundation of unity within a Godly marriage? Evil isolates before it kills. As he is one of ours, what if evil has done exactly what it wanted? Clearly this man has a desire for spreading the word of God. Along with a passion towards keeping families together. What if, this is God calling on us to pick up our brother when he is down?
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Jason Merchant
OMG really your fat and you say women needs to loss fat. can someone please help me here is this wrong so wrong
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Rev Mark D
This is commonly taught in many Evangelical congregations. I have two examples.
The latest one was our specialty hot sexy looking newest supreme Court Justice, who looks eminently "doable" and appears to be the hottest supreme Court Justice ever. This would seem to reflect the community she came out of, which taught exactly this, that man, in order to be good providers, are endowed with testosterone and a need to sexually roam and a preoccupation with sex in general as a large contributor to their primary motivation. This is to be supported and nurtured by the wives so as to support the husband's proper gender role in the family.
The second example I have is the reaction of the pastor father and his wife to the news that his son had pursued numerous sexual harassment and sexually addictive practices and lifestyle throughout the time that he was a senior bodyguard for their mutual friend worldwide televangelist Joyce Meyer... Upon hearing the news of his worldwide sexual pursuits while attached to the Joyce Meyer ministry as a security provider for pastor meyer, the man's father and mother were interviewed on a national television program for their reaction about why he would do such cheating against his wife while he was in the field. The reaction of both the father and the mother, especially the mother, was that somehow the wife was responsible for being somehow disrespectful to her husband, causing the husband to go looking outside the marriage for sexual support and activity, including apparently missing the point that in the process he murdered one of them. In other words, it seemed that they were trivializing the murder and his role in being responsible for it, by presuming in their immediate spontaneous response that somehow the murdered wife had to have been responsible because she must not have been sufficiently respective or sexually receptive in the marriage. This was her just this was especially odd listening to the mother but the mother and father were both pastoral leaders in their Church. One can look this up easily with a few choice search words.
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Angel
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I suggest this pastor invest in a tredmill ASAP!
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Ty Ford
He's still alive?
Pastor Stewart Allen should take a close look at himself in the mirror before he touches his wife or any other woman.
Just my opinion, but he should join a monastery so he can never again get within 100 feet of another woman or speak to/about them.
I hope it's a Greek monastery, Mike. They'll give him what he deserves.
He's probably enjoy it. 🤣
Amen!
You beat me to it. Thank you.
I think "What a fat and ugly POS." Only compounded by his stupidity..What exactly does this uggo think that he brings to the table?(bedroom)
According to his belief, he doesn’t need to bring anything. Women are subservient to men and we should just be grateful for what they give us.
How about No! Who would be grateful for this uggo? His lack of looks aren't the main issue here for me, but his awful attitude and the plain stupidity of his thinking make him just so terribly unattractive..
Toys..., Debra, he has toys. And some are shaped like crucifixes.
HE'S NOT ENTIRELY WRONG! Both partners have an obligation to the other to be their best. Americans have become the fattest people in the world and there is no excuse to let yourself go, man or woman.
Big Love?