Cracked eggs depiction of pain
God works in mysterious ways. But this is really, really mysterious.

It was just another sleepy day in small town Kansas – until God apparently started speaking to substitute teacher and Kansas State Rep. Mark Samsel.

Samsel, 36, was substitute teaching at the local high school that day, and video taken from students shows him proselytizing in the classroom and ranting and raving about everything from masturbation to homosexuality. 

At some point, he lost his temper. Samsel ended up being charged with three misdemeanor counts of battery for allegedly attacking some of the children, including grabbing one child and kicking another in the groin.

His defense? God made him do it.

God Told Me to Kick That Child

Video obtained by the Kansas City Star shows a truly bizarre and inappropriate classroom experience. Samsel is shown asking a student if he masturbates, and when the student refuses to answer, he warns that “God knows.”

Later, he talks about a sophomore at the school, who, Samsel posits, attempted suicide because they have “two parents, and they’re both females.” There are also numerous clips of Samsel openly proselytizing about God and the Bible in the classroom.

Buckle in, we’re not even at the weirdest part yet.

According to court documents filed by one of the students, Samsel warns that “you’re about to anger me and get the wrath of God,” before pushing one of the students up against a wall and kicking another in the testicles.

The affidavit of the incident is alarming, describing a four-inch scratch on the teen’s back, a golf ball sized “road rash” mark on his shoulder, as well as some 15 minutes of crippling testicle pain following the alleged kick to the groin.

Perhaps the most baffling part of it all is Samsel’s legal defense. When sheriff’s deputies asked him if God made him kick the boy in the crotch, Samsel said “twice.”

“God works in mysterious ways,” he quipped. 

While perhaps true in a general sense, how kicking a student in the testicles fits into God's plan really is a mystery to many – including the police. 

A Very Unorthodox Lesson

Samsel pleaded not guilty to the various misdemeanor charges, and so far has not been expelled from the Kansas State House of Representatives, where he serves. He has, however, been banned from the school for at least a year. 

In a statement, Samsel admits the day’s lesson was “unorthodox” but that he never intended to “hurt a soul or act for a single moment out of rage, animosity, or any other element of battery.”

Unorthodox is one way to describe it. In addition to the alleged assault, many pointed out that the comments about homosexuality and masturbation (not to mention the open proselytizing) were highly inappropriate for a public school classroom. 

What is your reaction?

49 comments

  1. Alan Joseph N E U B E R T's Avatar Alan Joseph N E U B E R T

    This site gets worse every time I look at it.

    1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

      Don't look at it then. We have enough things renting stupid space in our heads, like Biden (if you can understand him), Pelosi, AOC, Harris et al that's enough to drive anyone crazy.

      🦁♥️

      1. Danny D Patterson's Avatar Danny D Patterson

        Lionheart … Are you on drugs?

        1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

          I must admit Danny that I sometimes do think I am hallucinating when I see and listen to Biden, Pelosi, Harris, and AOC et al, if that's what you mean. Sadly, when I realize I am not on drugs, and realize they are real, I begin to wish I was. 🤪

          Thank you for asking though.

          🦁♥️

  1. Stephanie A Willey's Avatar Stephanie A Willey

    Another day ... yet another politician exposed as so totally unqualified for any level of public service.

  1. Dave J's Avatar Dave J

    If the republicans do not tell him to resign his post, then that says a lot about them. We don't need to say much about this person, as clearly he is a deluded misanthrope.

    1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

      Yes, I could totally understand it if God told him to kick Biden, Pelosi, Harris, AOC et al, but a child? Crazy!

      It's almost as bad as god telling that person in the Bible to stone a guy for picking up sticks on the Sabbath, or to cut off baby boys foreskins. What sort of weird god tells people to do that s***? And yet people worship it and genuinely think it's a god of some sort telling them to do it. Weird huh?

      🦁♥️

    2. John Norris Campbell's Avatar John Norris Campbell

      Politics? REALLY??? Have we seen the Pope excommunicate Biden Or Polise for their support of killing human babies yet?

  1. John's Avatar John

    Jail. Never allowed to teach nor to come within 100 yards of a public school. Additionally, he should be removed from public office. After serving his time in jail he should be tied up to a crucifix and the child he assaulted is allowed to return the favor. "An eye for an eye", or if you prefer a testicle for a testicle.

  1. Catherine Ohrin-Greipp's Avatar Catherine Ohrin-Greipp

    Send him to jail, then sue him for the pain and suffering of the kids he has caused. Force him to pay for their therapy. This disgusting, abusive Christian is a dangerous man. Christians becoming are sicker by the day, blaming their bearded white guy in the sky, while committing crimes, hating others, abusing others, while proclaiming their god is on their side. The world has not benefitted one iota from any religion. It is an ugly, destructive force made up of crazed hypocrites who harm others. No wonder younger people are not interested in membership in these cults.

    1. Erika Suzannah Avery's Avatar Erika Suzannah Avery

      Not all Christians (and other religions) are hypocrites. Some of us actually abide by the commandments/philosophies of our faith. I believe harming others and being filled with hate is the true sin. I also say don't judge, HELP others.

  1. Dennis Michael Parker's Avatar Dennis Michael Parker

    Sounds more like something Satan would do, not God!

    1. Dennis Michael Parker's Avatar Dennis Michael Parker

      Why does it have (delete comment)?

  1. CB Cuff's Avatar CB Cuff

    If this did happen, and I'm guessing the video is evidence, then certainly assault for starters. Revoke/suspend his teaching license for at least two years, and be removed from the House for behaviour unbecoming of a government representative. Obviously he needs some mental health intervention, but that might be hard for the courts to enforce. Oh and a public apology to not only the students dramatized by his behaviour but also 'for the record', to ensure any other community he applies to are aware of his history.

  1. Douglas Robert Spindler's Avatar Douglas Robert Spindler

    People do crazy things when they hear God's voice in there heads. I wonder how they know it's God's voice and just not crazy.

    1. Dave J's Avatar Dave J

      There's a difference?

      1. CB Cuff's Avatar CB Cuff

        As Lilly Tomlin famously quipped, "When we say we talked to god, it's called prayer. When we say god talked to us, it's called schizophrenia".

  1. Stewart's Avatar Stewart

    It boils down to sexual assault He inappropriately touched a child's genitals . He needs a sex offender classification , ...

  1. Erika Suzannah Avery's Avatar Erika Suzannah Avery

    I don't think that was God talking to him. Perhaps an entity residing more South........

  1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

    take a ballbat to his and see how he likes it.

    1. Linda Salavarria's Avatar Linda Salavarria

      ...And don't forget to say god told you to do it. That's apparently a big thing in america - especially kansas!

      1. Daniel Gray's Avatar Daniel Gray

        I would in a heartbeat and then tell the police and attorneys, if you didnt prosecute him then you cant touch me when I give him a place in the Vienna Boys choir.

  1. Minister Mike's Avatar Minister Mike

    God told me to rip his heart out, but I don't think anyone has seen me do it. At a minimum, the dude should be horsewhipped in the same room he performed his perverted act.

  1. Reverend Buzz's Avatar Reverend Buzz

    And yet all of the many rules that Moses passed on were supposedly spoken to him by god and go unquestioned. I surmise that Moses did not actually hear from god any more than this teacher. Why is one more authentic than the other?

    1. Dave J's Avatar Dave J

      They are not more authentic to everyone. Maybe some of them are good rules, but the first four are just narcissistic rules to make you worship some pathetic deity. My parents were the definition of child abusers. Why would I honor that? (My father was a deacon in the First Baptist Church in Eugene, where they actually preached how it was good to beat your children, as it put the fear of god into them.) I can get behind not murdering, that seems like a good one. Don't commit adultery. OK, what about people in an open relationship? Or those who like the idea of sharing their husband? Don't steal. Yeah, that's corporate America's job, and they hate the competition. But still a good concept. Don't lie. Well, then that lets out about half of the electorate. But still a good concept. Don't covet. Hmm. The thought police have arrived. Coveting is fine, if it makes you go out and work for what it was you were coveting. Otherwise you are breaking the don't steal commandment. So this is not only thought policing, it's redundant. Yeah, not a real good set of commandments. Not a christian, but do think one of those tenets is better. Treat others as you would like to be treated is for the most part not bad. Unless I"m a masochist or want to be fed to the crocodile god. So, no. You can't kick a kid in the groin because "god" told you to. And you can't force the ten commandments on anyone because "god" talked to Moses during the bronze age. Do your best to live in loving kindness. If everyone did, and dropped the religious bull, this would be a nicer place.

  1. John P Maher's Avatar John P Maher

    Mr. SAMSEL if YOUR EVER in MY NECK of the WOODs WHERE WE HAVE PHONES to SPEAK to GOD DIRECTLY, WELL GOD TOLD ME that if I SEE YOU on the STREET I SHOULD KICK YOU in THE BALLs and KNOCK YOUR TEETH DOWN YOUR THROAT and ADD A KNOCKOUT PUNCH in the NAME of GOD, AMEN !

  1. George Thomas Duvall Burroughs's Avatar George Thomas Duvall Burroughs

    It seems that mental illness and exposure of the same is epidemic. The reaccuring excuse of mental illness is association with "a higher authority ". And the proof of the theory is tell and repeat decepetions unitl accepted . Truth only seems to exist for the moment today, tomorrow the truth is gone with the wind. Deceptions make way for the acquisition of perceived power and control, thus monentary greed, are the new values held some personages.

  1. Shalanda Racinette Taplin's Avatar Shalanda Racinette Taplin

    That teacher in no way heard (God ) tell him to physically assault or possibly cause some internal damage to his male reproductive organ's. That teacher need's too NEVER hold a license to teach any district with children of any age period! 🙏✌🏼❤🐘

    FelonyAssault.

  1. Linda Salavarria's Avatar Linda Salavarria

    In response to another article this week...

    THIS is the reason why americans are turning away from established and traditional religions. Millennials and the generations following may have their own eccentricities but they are also more empathetic and inclusive than generations before. They have no time for exclusionary tenets based on some interpretation of how god defines "sin".

    I've said it before...I give it 10-15 years before evangelical style religions, and a portion of the more traditional religions as well, go the way of the dinosaur. Maybe not totally gone but mostly forgotten.

  1. John P Maher's Avatar John P Maher

    IF THIS KIDs FATHER HAD BALLs HE WOULD BREAK the COWARDLY PASTORs JAW, WHILE SAYING A PRAYER, AMEN !

  1. James W. Matthews's Avatar James W. Matthews

    I cannot sufficiently express my gratitude for the fact that I do not live in the "United States of America", (an ironic name for a country if ever there was one), and the fact that this "Christian" feels empowered to behave in this way is a good example of why. Surely even there, in that squirming nest of religious corruption, this behaviour cannot be acceptable to anyone?

    1. Angel's Avatar Angel

      Actually, hearing voices from "God" are very common for schitzophrenics. He doesn't need a teaching degree, just a large dose of antipsychotics.

  1. Nicholas J Page's Avatar Nicholas J Page

    What? God would never tell a politician or anybody to kick a child or adult especially in a ultra sensitive area like the groin God abhors violence why we have to have it .I don't know.Coming from a Christian family I was never taught by my parents that God has a good side and a bad side.If you hear voices check out your mental health Schizophrenia's hear voices.

    1. Lionheart's Avatar Lionheart

      Clearly, God does not abhor violence, if he did he wouldn't have committed his own acts of violence and genocide on humanity, and NO, violence is NOT acceptable by any supposed deity. Our morals should be much better than Gods.

      🦁♥️

  1. Nicholas J Page's Avatar Nicholas J Page

    If a politician kicked my child You would be looking for a new politician The aggressor would have me to deal with and I don't believe in violence or hatred.There's a lot of sick evil people out thereAs Alan Joseph Neubert says this site gets worse every time he looks at it Please Brothers and Sister's Don't take offence but how about some good news for a change. God Bless you all Minister Nicholas John Page UK.

  1. John Norris Campbell's Avatar John Norris Campbell

    "god" is actually a generic term for any super natural manifestation not known to the individual--YET!... Baa'l...Lucifer (Latin), Apollo...ect....PPL are IDIOTS

    1. Carl Bernard Elfstrom's Avatar Carl Bernard Elfstrom

      Lucifer is the ancient Greek god of light, Apollo is the Greek and Roman god of healing. Apollo is also the father of Esclepios, among many other things. Have you not heard of Esclepian and Hygian physicians? It was early Christianity that demonized Pagan gods and goddesses, seeking to turn people into christians through deceptive means.

  1. Douglas Robert Spindler's Avatar Douglas Robert Spindler

    This is what you get when teachers are paid such low wages.

  1. John's Avatar John

    Comment removed by author.

  1. Michael Hall's Avatar Michael Hall

    I'm sure the parents will gladly file charges, at least I hope so. To his point, no one thinks he acts unwisely, but we are judged by our actions, not our intentions.

  1. John P Maher's Avatar John P Maher

    WRITE ALL the STUPID, HORRABLE ACTs THOUGHTs AND DEEDs of tRUMP and the G O pigs and STUDY SAME BEFORE YOU VOTE FOREVER, THESE FATT G O Pigs are SATANs DECIPLES, PLAIN AS DAY, IF NOT SEX with MINORs THEY JUST HURT THEM, VERY SICK INDIVIDUALS ALL !

    1. James W. Matthews's Avatar James W. Matthews

      I may not approve of your "shouting", your spelling or your grammar but I loudly applaud your intentions Mr Maher.

  1. George Thomas Duvall Burroughs's Avatar George Thomas Duvall Burroughs

    It seems that mental illness and exposure of the same is epidemic. The reaccuring excuse of mental illness is association with "a higher authority ". And the proof of the theory is tell and repeat decepetions unitl accepted . Truth only seems to exist for the moment today, tomorrow the truth is gone with the wind. Deceptions make way for the acquisition of perceived power and control, thus monentary greed, are the new values held some personages.

  1. Rev Mark D's Avatar Rev Mark D

    If we can blame God for anything we decide to do, then I guess anything that happens to us is similarly God's Will. Or, in other words, no need for a deity centered religion.

  1. Rev Mark D's Avatar Rev Mark D

    He's also an attorney.

    Sounds like bipolar to me.

  1. Christian's Avatar Christian

    Children & Adults the world over have their health harmed and fertility damaged by Vapes, Pens, Pods, Smokes, cigarettes, and other toxic products.
    Live Well, do no harm, help others, and proclaim thaks and joy to our Father in Heaven. Love one Another.

  1. Rev. Dr. G. Waldron's Avatar Rev. Dr. G. Waldron

    Reading this and other blog posts, I think ULC needs to do a little editing. Facebook and others do this. ULC please do something about these hateful attacks against each other on this blog. It really needs to be cleaned up. Censorship, so be it.

  1. Rob Duff's Avatar Rob Duff

    It was probably Ahriman that told him to do it. God would have told him to dash him against rocks per Psalm 137.

  1. Angel's Avatar Angel

    He doesn't need to be teaching children, he needs to be committed into a psychic ward because he is obviously having hallutiionations.

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